Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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