Heybabeimwearingurpanties
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
soo... how was my night?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
