Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
