dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Randomize
