yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
