Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
