Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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