dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
