I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
