you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
