Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize