No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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