WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
