She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
