Nicole vs. Life
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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