i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
