I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
God, I missed his penis.
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