He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
