You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
