i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
