Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
