Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
