DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
