I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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