He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
