I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize