You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
