Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Holy shit dude........stairs
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
