is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
