Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
thus making me awesome and them whores
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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