Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
