I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
