how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
