weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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