I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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