It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
