I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
