KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
The Olympian is in my bed
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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