watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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