The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
