dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
