He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize