Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
