my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
