Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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