I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
