i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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