fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
