She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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