too bad you live with your parents still
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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