They should really pass out barf bags in church
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
