My liver just broke up with me...
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
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