Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
