we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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