I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
