sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
