she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize