The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize