What tipped you off? The sombrero?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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