I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
