apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize