is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
