Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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