And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Randomize
