So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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