hotel room ftw
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
