your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
