I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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